Recently I read another blogger’s ideal Breastfeeding Survival Kit. She asked at the end: What would be in your ideal breastfeeding kit? Although I am not breastfeeding anymore, I still have friends who breastfeed and friends who will (hopefully!) breastfeed soon, so I thought I would post my ideal Breastfeeding Survival Kit items here:
1. Breastfeeding books. The two most dear to my heart: So That's What They're For by Janet Tamaro and Breastfeeding With Comfort and Joy by Laura Keegan, R.N., F.N.P. I would recommend reading and re-reading many times over before baby is born. You’ll have much more time before baby arrives.
And honestly, you’ll read it over and over and you’ll hear it from lactation consultants: if the baby is latched-on properly, it shouldn’t be painful. So read and re-read the information about proper latch-on!
2. Water. I have read that water really does help milk supply and production, and I have also read that it doesn’t make a huge difference. I did feel like it made a difference for me—I felt like I had a better supply when I was most hydrated.
3. Lactation cookies and necessary ingredients on hand. What breastfeeding mother isn’t hungry AND who doesn’t love cookies? Cookies that help you lactate as well? Enough said. You can find the recipe here.
4. Phone numbers/emails of people who can help and support you:
Make sure you have at least one friend who values breastfeeding as much, if not more, than you do. She MUST be your go-to person when you are struggling. There are too many people out there who are willing to praise you for the good job you did as they support you through quitting. You need different peer pressure—you need a personal cheerleader to remind you why breastfeeding is so important and why you shouldn’t skip just one feeding or just one pumping session.
Know how to contact a lactation consultant. I was incredibly lucky to have local support through Baby Beloved, Inc – a breastfeeding supply boutique complete with lactation consultant services. Baby Beloved also hosts baby classes and a mommy support group. It isn’t affiliated with the hospital or La Leche League (whom I could have contacted if necessary).
5. Breast comfort aids: Lanolin ointment (only needed during the first couple of weeks…then it really DOES get better), ice packs for engorgement (my mom made some for me out of diapers moistened with water and then frozen--worked perfectly), leak-prevention pads, breastfeeding pillow (more on that in a second), comfortable chair, supportive husband to provide extra set of hands when learning how to position baby...
6. Breastfeeding cover/apron: I have two: one from Bebe Au Lait (that’s French for “baby with milk” – a take on the expression for how you ask for a coffee with milk in French: "cafe au lait.”) My mom purchased the Bebe Au Lait one for me online and then used it to make a pattern so she could make me another one handmade. Pretty nifty and thrifty.
7. Nursing tank-tops/camisoles: These are certainly a matter of preference. I got some less expensive tanks at Target which worked well, but my most favorite brand of all was Bravado. I loved the ballet-style top, thick material and feeling of firm support. When my milk was first coming in and I was engorged, these tanks made me feel MUCH better. You need to be fitted for the Bravado tanks like you would be fitted for a nursing bra. My least favorite: Glamourmom—felt too flimsy for the money I paid.
8. Breastfeeding support group: If there is a local support group that meets regularly, attend it! The place where I got my pump, bras, and tanks also hosts a weekly mommy support group. I felt a little uncomfortable when I first went there, but for no good reason. It was the most safe, understanding environment a new mom could ask for. In addition to being hosted by a certified lactation consultant, the mommy group was a great place to vent, cry, and laugh about motherhood, breastfeeding or post-pregnancy fat jeans.
9. The best breast pump insurance can buy…or register for one if you’re going to be having a baby shower. My OB wrote a prescription for a breast pump and our insurance covered the entire cost, so I got the Medela Pump-In-Style Advanced. It worked really great. You can always rent a pump, also. Babies R Us rents them as did my breastfeeding supply store (significantly cheaper than BRU).
Learn to pump! Even if you don't have to, you should. The whole pumping thing was very intimidating, even though I had been shown how easy it was when I purchased the pump. I was very scared, but this was another situation in which the fear was totally unfounded. The reason I learned was because in the first couple of weeks after Drew was born, I had one side that was so sore and painful, I could barely feed from that side without crying. I don't know why or how the one side was worse than the other, because it didn't seem to be a latch problem, but pumping helped me to heal the right side while feeding Drew only from the left. Once I was all healed up, we bf from both sides and life was good.
However, because I forced myself to learn to pump, I was able to continue pumping in order to build up a freezer supply. I became fascinated with how much I could produce, and I used some of the advice that I had read in Tamaro's book to figure out when I should pump (I always did it right after I nursed) and how to store the frozen milk. Some days I would pump after every single nursing and other days not at all. But it was so helpful to have the option.
10. Nursing pillows: I used the Boppy, which worked fine when Drew was the smallest, but there are some better pillows out there for when your baby gets bigger and bigger and bigger. We actually had two nursing pillows, which I thought was a total waste—before I actually gave birth. I had registered for and received the Boppy and then someone else gave me a Boppy-like nursing pillow also. I was all set to take it back when a friend told me she liked having a couple of nursing pillows. So I didn’t take it back and am I ever glad. First, everybody who came to visit us used the Boppy when holding Drew. My manly-man husband seemed very fascinated with the Boppy—he used it every time he held/rocked Drew and put it around the waist of every guest, male or female, who came to visit the baby. Which was fine and dandy, except germ-freak-me wanted what I perceived to be a sterile Boppy to feed Drew on. It was also nice to have a nursing pillow both in the living room and the bedroom—the two places I nursed the most. Furthermore, it was nice to have an extra nursing pillow to throw into the car.
Coming Soon: My ideal Pumping Survival Kit
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Drew's Birth Story
Sunday, March 23rd (Easter Sunday 2008)
• My water broke around 5:45 a.m. but I was confused about whether I might have wet my PJ’s or whether my water had broken because there wasn’t very much leakage, and most of the water-breaking stories I had heard involved gushing. I changed PJ’s and went back to bed. About a half hour later it happened again, but again it was more like involuntarily peeing a little instead of the gushing I was waiting for. So I woke Mike to discuss and consulted the What to Expect… book. Even then I was still confused—especially because I wasn’t due until April 10. So I changed PJ’s for a second time and we went back to bed with the plan that the third time would be the charm…no matter what we would just go to the hospital should the same thing occur again. Just a few minutes after we settled back into bed, more water came gushing out, and we were 100% sure that this was it!
• Because I wasn’t experiencing contractions, we prepared very calmly to go to the hospital. I had already packed my bag a week or so prior, so I finished some last minute stuff around the house while Mike took a shower. Interesting enough, the battery-operated candles, relaxing music CD, and back massager were all packed...but never even used. But I’m jumping ahead. So, we snapped a picture of me right before heading off to the hospital (not so pretty). We even dropped off the Easter ham & baskets to Mike’s cousin Becky’s house on the way to the hospital since clearly we wouldn’t be able to make the Easter dinner that day. No screeching tires or flying over railroad tracks were necessary en route.
• We arrived in emergency around 7:30 a.m. and got checked in triage to make sure that my “bag had ruptured.” It had indeed ruptured and I was dilated to just 1 cm, but cervix was thinned out—good news and bad news, both. I was hoping that I would be dilated much further, but I was glad that my body was progressing on its own. Once our labor and delivery room was prepared, we were carted off to spend the majority of our day there.
• As soon as we had the medical 100% that we would be admitted and having a baby, we called each of our parents. That was probably the most fun call to make since we had announced our engagement.
• Until 11:30 or so, we didn’t do too much. My nurse, Sheryl, monitored me and checked things out periodically, but since nothing much was happening in the contraction department, Pitocin was started and increased every half hour until contractions were going well. This is where my birthing plan (that I had even typed out on the computer, printed and put in a plastic page protector) took a turn. Of course, Pitocin would be where we got off track with the whole letting my body do its own thing. But since I was getting ready to meet my baby for the first time after nine long months, I sort of nodded my head and agreed to everything once we entered the hospital because no one was there to tell me otherwise.
• From 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. the Pitocin was increased in small increments and by 3:00 p.m. I could definitely feel a difference enough that I had to concentrate on the ceiling and breathing to make it through each contraction. However, at 3:00 p.m. Baby Drew wasn’t liking his position or the Pitocin and caused the nurse to come in and turn off the Pitocin, as well as have a resident doctor try to insert an internal HR monitor—TWICE. Yet ANOTHER situation that we had learned about that we were adamant against, and yet again we found ourselves nodding OK--twice. Because the first time the monitor came off. And I had to go through the experience a second time, which involved someone’s whole hand inside me sticking prongs into our child’s head. Not enjoyable whatsoever, causing me to have to breathe through the process because it hurt SO BADLY. The monitor never did work properly and luckily Drew responded well to the fact that the Pitocin was turned off. By this point I was dilated to 3 ½ cm and contractions were becoming difficult to breathe through.
• Contractions continued from 3:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m without the Pitocin, coming closer together and getting stronger. Breathing turned to whimpering and moaning/crying. I remember feeling embarrassed that I was being too loud but it was all I could do to manage the pain for 60 – 90 seconds every 2 - 2 ½ minutes. Literally 30 - 60 seconds of down-time before the next contraction began. Mike was a good coach, but there wasn’t a whole lot he could do, besides hold the throw up bucket when I got sick—another side effect of the pain that I didn’t expect. I remember telling him to please be quiet and not say a word, and then he would say "you're doing great" and I would tell him emphatically--please don't even say that!!!!
• Finally finally FINALLY I was checked and dialated to 6 cm – good and ready for the epidural. Between dealing with contractions, throwing up, and bleeding from the internal heart rate monitor insertion experience, I thought I couldn’t make it any longer and I asked for the epidural. The worst part of the epidural was trying to be still while having a serious contraction and a procedure that could be dangerous if not administered properly.
• Following the epidural procedure, I was in heaven compared to what I had just gone through. I could still feel when I was having a contraction, but the intense pain was absent, as was the vomiting. Shortly after the epidural had taken effect (around 6:00 p.m.) I was checked again and surprised to find that I was dialated to a NINE. In one hour 5:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. I had gone from 6 cm to 9 cm. Was it that I was transitioning or was it that the epidural caused me to relax and allow my cervix to open? We will never know. I asked the nurse if she was joking--but she wasn't. She said she was on her way to call the doc because I was ready to push and she really thought that I would deliver before her shift ended at 7:00 p.m. What a feeling of utter excitement and joy!
• From 6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. I pushed my heart out, but unfortunately Drew was “posterior” or face-up instead of face-down. We learned that it is much more difficult to deliver babies that way, so my pushing wasn’t making a lot of progress. And then…at 7:00 p.m. came the nurse change. I had really been impressed with my first nurse who had taken care of me all day. She was calm, encouraging, quiet, and seemed to really be on my side. She gave me great advice about how to push and her words and tone were just perfect. I really HATED the nurse who replaced her. She was annoyingly chipper, didn’t give good advice, and she had a “scolding” sort of encouragement. I think the worst thing about her is that she didn't seem sincere. An hour of her and when the doctor suggested we opt for a C-section, I’m sure one of the reasons I agreed was to get away from her. Actually, because I had a high blood pressure scare during the last couple of weeks of pregnancy, the doctor didn’t want to “take any chances.” He explained that since both Drew and I were in a non-emergency situation, though not making progress, it would be a SAFE idea rather than risk an emergency situation and end up with an emergency C-section anyway. It sounded like a reasonable explanation.
• Mike and I didn’t even really talk it over. I was all drugged up and we were both so ready to meet Drew, that why would we go against the medical advice? (I’ll answer that question in a future post). So we got prepped for surgery and off we went to deliver Drew. The anesthesiologist was UNBELIEVABLE. He basically narrated every single move that he and the doctor were making so that at NO point did I feel scared or think that something was wrong. He kept reassuring me and telling me how great everything was going. Just as Drew's head was being delivered he positioned a mirror so I could watch. Nothing short of a MIRACLE. At 8:58 p.m. our most beautiful gift entered the world. We thought Drew was just amazing and beautiful and perfect. Mike said in excitement, “He’s got four arms and legs!” I love that line--such a cute husband-y thing to say! Michael was videotaping the whole procedure so we have been able to relive the excitement and joy several times since--including the "four arms and legs" comment--hee hee.
• We watched as they checked Drew over and soon after the surgery, they gave Drew to me and wheeled us together to the recovery room where we could not stop saying how beautiful he was. I was “high” on all the medical drugs, but certainly more "high" on motherhood already. Drew got his first bath and I was given a bath, too! Until this experience, I had no idea what nurses do, because (thank goodness) I have never spent time in a hospital. Other than the one LD nurse who I didn't like so much, every single nurse that came to take care of me was absolutely phenomenal. Anyway...
• There is a short period after which a baby is born when the baby is alert but quiet. It is the most amazing couple of hours that you could possibly imagine. I believe that there is some medical explanation (and maybe even a name for it, which I can't remember), but it's clear: nature created a time for bonding, before the baby and momma start their rest and recovery from the birth process. Drew, Michael and I just stared into each other’s eyes. We made our first attempt at breastfeeding and were fairly successful. I was relieved that even though I had a C-section, Drew’s sucking instinct was strong. Around midnight we were finally cleared to return to our room.
• And that is the story of how precious Drew came into our world and made us Mommy and Daddy.
• My water broke around 5:45 a.m. but I was confused about whether I might have wet my PJ’s or whether my water had broken because there wasn’t very much leakage, and most of the water-breaking stories I had heard involved gushing. I changed PJ’s and went back to bed. About a half hour later it happened again, but again it was more like involuntarily peeing a little instead of the gushing I was waiting for. So I woke Mike to discuss and consulted the What to Expect… book. Even then I was still confused—especially because I wasn’t due until April 10. So I changed PJ’s for a second time and we went back to bed with the plan that the third time would be the charm…no matter what we would just go to the hospital should the same thing occur again. Just a few minutes after we settled back into bed, more water came gushing out, and we were 100% sure that this was it!
• Because I wasn’t experiencing contractions, we prepared very calmly to go to the hospital. I had already packed my bag a week or so prior, so I finished some last minute stuff around the house while Mike took a shower. Interesting enough, the battery-operated candles, relaxing music CD, and back massager were all packed...but never even used. But I’m jumping ahead. So, we snapped a picture of me right before heading off to the hospital (not so pretty). We even dropped off the Easter ham & baskets to Mike’s cousin Becky’s house on the way to the hospital since clearly we wouldn’t be able to make the Easter dinner that day. No screeching tires or flying over railroad tracks were necessary en route.
• We arrived in emergency around 7:30 a.m. and got checked in triage to make sure that my “bag had ruptured.” It had indeed ruptured and I was dilated to just 1 cm, but cervix was thinned out—good news and bad news, both. I was hoping that I would be dilated much further, but I was glad that my body was progressing on its own. Once our labor and delivery room was prepared, we were carted off to spend the majority of our day there.
• As soon as we had the medical 100% that we would be admitted and having a baby, we called each of our parents. That was probably the most fun call to make since we had announced our engagement.
• Until 11:30 or so, we didn’t do too much. My nurse, Sheryl, monitored me and checked things out periodically, but since nothing much was happening in the contraction department, Pitocin was started and increased every half hour until contractions were going well. This is where my birthing plan (that I had even typed out on the computer, printed and put in a plastic page protector) took a turn. Of course, Pitocin would be where we got off track with the whole letting my body do its own thing. But since I was getting ready to meet my baby for the first time after nine long months, I sort of nodded my head and agreed to everything once we entered the hospital because no one was there to tell me otherwise.
• From 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. the Pitocin was increased in small increments and by 3:00 p.m. I could definitely feel a difference enough that I had to concentrate on the ceiling and breathing to make it through each contraction. However, at 3:00 p.m. Baby Drew wasn’t liking his position or the Pitocin and caused the nurse to come in and turn off the Pitocin, as well as have a resident doctor try to insert an internal HR monitor—TWICE. Yet ANOTHER situation that we had learned about that we were adamant against, and yet again we found ourselves nodding OK--twice. Because the first time the monitor came off. And I had to go through the experience a second time, which involved someone’s whole hand inside me sticking prongs into our child’s head. Not enjoyable whatsoever, causing me to have to breathe through the process because it hurt SO BADLY. The monitor never did work properly and luckily Drew responded well to the fact that the Pitocin was turned off. By this point I was dilated to 3 ½ cm and contractions were becoming difficult to breathe through.
• Contractions continued from 3:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m without the Pitocin, coming closer together and getting stronger. Breathing turned to whimpering and moaning/crying. I remember feeling embarrassed that I was being too loud but it was all I could do to manage the pain for 60 – 90 seconds every 2 - 2 ½ minutes. Literally 30 - 60 seconds of down-time before the next contraction began. Mike was a good coach, but there wasn’t a whole lot he could do, besides hold the throw up bucket when I got sick—another side effect of the pain that I didn’t expect. I remember telling him to please be quiet and not say a word, and then he would say "you're doing great" and I would tell him emphatically--please don't even say that!!!!
• Finally finally FINALLY I was checked and dialated to 6 cm – good and ready for the epidural. Between dealing with contractions, throwing up, and bleeding from the internal heart rate monitor insertion experience, I thought I couldn’t make it any longer and I asked for the epidural. The worst part of the epidural was trying to be still while having a serious contraction and a procedure that could be dangerous if not administered properly.
• Following the epidural procedure, I was in heaven compared to what I had just gone through. I could still feel when I was having a contraction, but the intense pain was absent, as was the vomiting. Shortly after the epidural had taken effect (around 6:00 p.m.) I was checked again and surprised to find that I was dialated to a NINE. In one hour 5:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. I had gone from 6 cm to 9 cm. Was it that I was transitioning or was it that the epidural caused me to relax and allow my cervix to open? We will never know. I asked the nurse if she was joking--but she wasn't. She said she was on her way to call the doc because I was ready to push and she really thought that I would deliver before her shift ended at 7:00 p.m. What a feeling of utter excitement and joy!
• From 6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. I pushed my heart out, but unfortunately Drew was “posterior” or face-up instead of face-down. We learned that it is much more difficult to deliver babies that way, so my pushing wasn’t making a lot of progress. And then…at 7:00 p.m. came the nurse change. I had really been impressed with my first nurse who had taken care of me all day. She was calm, encouraging, quiet, and seemed to really be on my side. She gave me great advice about how to push and her words and tone were just perfect. I really HATED the nurse who replaced her. She was annoyingly chipper, didn’t give good advice, and she had a “scolding” sort of encouragement. I think the worst thing about her is that she didn't seem sincere. An hour of her and when the doctor suggested we opt for a C-section, I’m sure one of the reasons I agreed was to get away from her. Actually, because I had a high blood pressure scare during the last couple of weeks of pregnancy, the doctor didn’t want to “take any chances.” He explained that since both Drew and I were in a non-emergency situation, though not making progress, it would be a SAFE idea rather than risk an emergency situation and end up with an emergency C-section anyway. It sounded like a reasonable explanation.
• Mike and I didn’t even really talk it over. I was all drugged up and we were both so ready to meet Drew, that why would we go against the medical advice? (I’ll answer that question in a future post). So we got prepped for surgery and off we went to deliver Drew. The anesthesiologist was UNBELIEVABLE. He basically narrated every single move that he and the doctor were making so that at NO point did I feel scared or think that something was wrong. He kept reassuring me and telling me how great everything was going. Just as Drew's head was being delivered he positioned a mirror so I could watch. Nothing short of a MIRACLE. At 8:58 p.m. our most beautiful gift entered the world. We thought Drew was just amazing and beautiful and perfect. Mike said in excitement, “He’s got four arms and legs!” I love that line--such a cute husband-y thing to say! Michael was videotaping the whole procedure so we have been able to relive the excitement and joy several times since--including the "four arms and legs" comment--hee hee.
• We watched as they checked Drew over and soon after the surgery, they gave Drew to me and wheeled us together to the recovery room where we could not stop saying how beautiful he was. I was “high” on all the medical drugs, but certainly more "high" on motherhood already. Drew got his first bath and I was given a bath, too! Until this experience, I had no idea what nurses do, because (thank goodness) I have never spent time in a hospital. Other than the one LD nurse who I didn't like so much, every single nurse that came to take care of me was absolutely phenomenal. Anyway...
• There is a short period after which a baby is born when the baby is alert but quiet. It is the most amazing couple of hours that you could possibly imagine. I believe that there is some medical explanation (and maybe even a name for it, which I can't remember), but it's clear: nature created a time for bonding, before the baby and momma start their rest and recovery from the birth process. Drew, Michael and I just stared into each other’s eyes. We made our first attempt at breastfeeding and were fairly successful. I was relieved that even though I had a C-section, Drew’s sucking instinct was strong. Around midnight we were finally cleared to return to our room.
• And that is the story of how precious Drew came into our world and made us Mommy and Daddy.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Breastfeeding Laws
If you are curious which states best protect our right to breastfeed and which states are lagging behind, click here.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Emails Can Be Very Educational
My son Drew is about to turn ONE. Goodness. Where has a year gone? So I have been thinking a lot about his BIRTH day lately. Maybe I'll post his birth story on his birthday.
I know a whole lot more now than I did then, and I wish I would have known more then. It's all about education...self-education. And I think it is so important to try to pass on the education--to share with as many people as possible (encouraging my four subscribers to share with people who might benefit).
So, today I am posting an email that I received from one of my high school friends when I was pregnant. Yep, more than a year later, I still have it saved in my email account. Her words are too wise and too informative to delete. So I thought I would post it this evening. She was one of very few "cheerleaders" for natural childbirth--which I was very interested in while I was pregnant, am still very interested in now, and am HOPING to be able to do if we are blessed to have another child in the future.
My friend's email to me begins:
"Ahh, natural childbirth in the 21st century . . . (sigh). Okay, here goes my soapbox . . . When I was expecting the first time I was pretty much in your same boat. Of course I would like to have a natural birth (DUH). After listening for 30 years to my mom tell me how much her Lamaze class helped and how the hardest part of labor was waiting for the doctor to get there . . ."
I think it is so funny that my friend's mother had such an easy birth...mine did, too. Intersting that they both took intensive Lamaze courses. Hmmmmmmm. Were their births truly that easy OR had they been educated in the proper mindset? Had they been practicing the relaxation techniques with their husbands for weeks and weeks? My mom indicated that she and my father really had to practice regularly and seriously at home in order to not be embarrassed at class. The breathing techniques and exercises they rehearsed not only improved relaxation and focus, but sounded like they built physical endurance as well. My mom, too, told me about my birth story over and over while I was pregnant, maybe in hopes that I would start believing that it could be a lovely experience contrary to what most people described.
When I even suggested the possibility that I was planning to decline an epidural, the responses I got usually included "you're crazy" or "that's what drugs are for" or "why would you even want to consider that" and sometimes included rolling eyes. One of the most unhelpful responses was "they don't give you a medal, you know." Such support from fellow women, many of them mothers themselves.
My friend's email continues:
"I signed up for a four-week hospital birth class which someone said was "Lamaze-like". I was, like you, a little surprised at the short length of the class, but figured hey, if my Mom can do it so can I. Maybe the classes are shorter now since all the doctors and nurses are more educated about natural birth (Not like in the 70's, right? Our moms paved the way for us, right?). Unfortunately, the reality is that most standard birth classes these days only pay lip service to preparing women for natural childbirth. And that is just fine with hospitals - they would rather women learn about hospital protocols than about listening to their own bodies. Hospitals don't make money that way."
What she really meant was the four 2-hour long classes that the hospitals offer are great if (a) you know absolutely nothing and don't plan to read a single word before you give birth, (b) you want to know exactly how the birth progresses medically and you don't already own the book "What to Expect...yadda yadda", or (c) you want to practice breathing techniques for about 15 minutes total--with all four of the classes put together.
So were the classes useful? I think they helped my husband understand birth and newborns and breastfeeding a little better. But I had already read about 90% of the information that was being presented either online or in pregnancy books. The most fun for me was seeing the mesh underwear that until then I had only heard about. And I will admit that the postpartum depression discussion was serious, thought-provoking and valuable. Other than that, not such a wise use of our dwindling time as just-the-two-of-us. Interestingly enough we both sort of zoned out when the C-section video was taking place because we were both positive I wouldn't be having one--which we ended up having, but that is certainly for another post. And I was SO PROUD of my husband because I remember the class that we learned about the medical "stuff"--especially with the epidural and how it ties you to the bed, and you can't get up and walk around, and it makes nursing after birth more difficult, and is such a medical, sometimes dangerous procedure, etc, etc.--he said "I never imagined giving birth being so medical." And when he said it, I heard in his voice that he wanted a more natural experience than what was just described, and less danger to me and our soon-to-be-born son. If only...but again, I'll save my birth story for another post.
And my friend's email continues:
"While it is far too "un-PC" for OB's or LDR nurses to ever say they are actually AGAINST natural childbirth, most rarely ever see one, let alone having any experience actually HELPING moms birth the way nature intended. In St. Louis, most of the hospitals have an over 90% epidural rate, somewhere around a 40% induction rate, and a 30% C-section rate. Think about it."
I'm glad she told me to think about it. I had never thought about ANY of that before, and I was pretty pregnant when I received this email that I am posting.
"Here is what I think about birth classes. If you are serious about going the husband-coached natural labor route, you will need to take a class that really gives you time to actually practice the coping techniques, so they come naturally to you once labor really hits. These are usually private classes and there are lots of different programs (Bradley, Hypnobirthing, Hypnobabies, Birthing From Within, etc.).
Otherwise, I say just get some books (most of the methods have books available) and maybe practice at home if you want to. The other side of the coin is that no matter what technique you learn, once active labor really hits hard most women just do whatever their bodies tell them to anyway. And that's just fine. I think the main purpose of ANY natural birth prep class is to give you confidence going into early labor, because fear can seriously mess you up (have you gotten very far in Ina May's book?)"
At the time I received the email in this post, it was a little on the late side to find/start/participate in a different class. I remember that I tried to find some local Lamaze classes, and I pondered trying a do-it-yourself book study with my husband, but it just didn't pan out. I was pregnant, hormonal, working full-time. And I didn't have a lot of local support to turn to. I live about 10 hours away from this friend and didn't know ANYONE who had taken any other classes than the ones the hospital offered. But, at least now I DO know of some local resources (like classes and doulas and yoga), and I HAVE met some mothers who birthed naturally.
My friend mentioned Ina May's book, which she had sent to me in a care package. Did I mention what a great friend she is? I didn't finish the book all the way through, but the underlying message, the message which made me Google "doulas," was about peaceful natural births by empowered women. How amazing does that sound?
"Regardless of what you decide about that, I really recommend investing in a doula. Husbands are great, but they make lousy labor coaches. Even if they are conscientious enough to study up on labor coping methods, when you are in labor you will respond FAR better to suggestions from someone who has actually been in your shoes (my husband can attest to this!). And don't expect labor support from the nursing staff - they are stretched far too thin among their patients. Maybe you will be in a different boat if you go with the nurse midwife, but even so it can be helpful to have someone come to your house and help you decide when it's time to leave for the hospital - the LAST thing you want to do is show up too early!"
Getting a doula...I was pretty motivated to find one until the big disagreement with DH. Maybe for another post...because it is a story of its own and caused another wise email from this same friend that is worth posting.
My friend closes her email:
"Sorry if this comes off preachy-I just wish someone had told me all this stuff before [my son] was born. I was so sure I knew what I was doing, and I
had been perfectly healthy the whole pregnancy. I am still blown away by how a perfectly healthy woman with a perfectly normal baby can show up at the hospital in labor and turn into a C-section. As I am sure you have heard, things went just a little bit differently with [my next one].
Okay, I'm off the soapbox now."
I didn't take it as preachy at all--I took it as a close friend being honest and open and doing her part in helping to educate her soon-to-give-birth-for-the-first-time friend. We could all benefit from a friend like this, huh?
I know a whole lot more now than I did then, and I wish I would have known more then. It's all about education...self-education. And I think it is so important to try to pass on the education--to share with as many people as possible (encouraging my four subscribers to share with people who might benefit).
So, today I am posting an email that I received from one of my high school friends when I was pregnant. Yep, more than a year later, I still have it saved in my email account. Her words are too wise and too informative to delete. So I thought I would post it this evening. She was one of very few "cheerleaders" for natural childbirth--which I was very interested in while I was pregnant, am still very interested in now, and am HOPING to be able to do if we are blessed to have another child in the future.
My friend's email to me begins:
"Ahh, natural childbirth in the 21st century . . . (sigh). Okay, here goes my soapbox . . . When I was expecting the first time I was pretty much in your same boat. Of course I would like to have a natural birth (DUH). After listening for 30 years to my mom tell me how much her Lamaze class helped and how the hardest part of labor was waiting for the doctor to get there . . ."
I think it is so funny that my friend's mother had such an easy birth...mine did, too. Intersting that they both took intensive Lamaze courses. Hmmmmmmm. Were their births truly that easy OR had they been educated in the proper mindset? Had they been practicing the relaxation techniques with their husbands for weeks and weeks? My mom indicated that she and my father really had to practice regularly and seriously at home in order to not be embarrassed at class. The breathing techniques and exercises they rehearsed not only improved relaxation and focus, but sounded like they built physical endurance as well. My mom, too, told me about my birth story over and over while I was pregnant, maybe in hopes that I would start believing that it could be a lovely experience contrary to what most people described.
When I even suggested the possibility that I was planning to decline an epidural, the responses I got usually included "you're crazy" or "that's what drugs are for" or "why would you even want to consider that" and sometimes included rolling eyes. One of the most unhelpful responses was "they don't give you a medal, you know." Such support from fellow women, many of them mothers themselves.
My friend's email continues:
"I signed up for a four-week hospital birth class which someone said was "Lamaze-like". I was, like you, a little surprised at the short length of the class, but figured hey, if my Mom can do it so can I. Maybe the classes are shorter now since all the doctors and nurses are more educated about natural birth (Not like in the 70's, right? Our moms paved the way for us, right?). Unfortunately, the reality is that most standard birth classes these days only pay lip service to preparing women for natural childbirth. And that is just fine with hospitals - they would rather women learn about hospital protocols than about listening to their own bodies. Hospitals don't make money that way."
What she really meant was the four 2-hour long classes that the hospitals offer are great if (a) you know absolutely nothing and don't plan to read a single word before you give birth, (b) you want to know exactly how the birth progresses medically and you don't already own the book "What to Expect...yadda yadda", or (c) you want to practice breathing techniques for about 15 minutes total--with all four of the classes put together.
So were the classes useful? I think they helped my husband understand birth and newborns and breastfeeding a little better. But I had already read about 90% of the information that was being presented either online or in pregnancy books. The most fun for me was seeing the mesh underwear that until then I had only heard about. And I will admit that the postpartum depression discussion was serious, thought-provoking and valuable. Other than that, not such a wise use of our dwindling time as just-the-two-of-us. Interestingly enough we both sort of zoned out when the C-section video was taking place because we were both positive I wouldn't be having one--which we ended up having, but that is certainly for another post. And I was SO PROUD of my husband because I remember the class that we learned about the medical "stuff"--especially with the epidural and how it ties you to the bed, and you can't get up and walk around, and it makes nursing after birth more difficult, and is such a medical, sometimes dangerous procedure, etc, etc.--he said "I never imagined giving birth being so medical." And when he said it, I heard in his voice that he wanted a more natural experience than what was just described, and less danger to me and our soon-to-be-born son. If only...but again, I'll save my birth story for another post.
And my friend's email continues:
"While it is far too "un-PC" for OB's or LDR nurses to ever say they are actually AGAINST natural childbirth, most rarely ever see one, let alone having any experience actually HELPING moms birth the way nature intended. In St. Louis, most of the hospitals have an over 90% epidural rate, somewhere around a 40% induction rate, and a 30% C-section rate. Think about it."
I'm glad she told me to think about it. I had never thought about ANY of that before, and I was pretty pregnant when I received this email that I am posting.
"Here is what I think about birth classes. If you are serious about going the husband-coached natural labor route, you will need to take a class that really gives you time to actually practice the coping techniques, so they come naturally to you once labor really hits. These are usually private classes and there are lots of different programs (Bradley, Hypnobirthing, Hypnobabies, Birthing From Within, etc.).
Otherwise, I say just get some books (most of the methods have books available) and maybe practice at home if you want to. The other side of the coin is that no matter what technique you learn, once active labor really hits hard most women just do whatever their bodies tell them to anyway. And that's just fine. I think the main purpose of ANY natural birth prep class is to give you confidence going into early labor, because fear can seriously mess you up (have you gotten very far in Ina May's book?)"
At the time I received the email in this post, it was a little on the late side to find/start/participate in a different class. I remember that I tried to find some local Lamaze classes, and I pondered trying a do-it-yourself book study with my husband, but it just didn't pan out. I was pregnant, hormonal, working full-time. And I didn't have a lot of local support to turn to. I live about 10 hours away from this friend and didn't know ANYONE who had taken any other classes than the ones the hospital offered. But, at least now I DO know of some local resources (like classes and doulas and yoga), and I HAVE met some mothers who birthed naturally.
My friend mentioned Ina May's book, which she had sent to me in a care package. Did I mention what a great friend she is? I didn't finish the book all the way through, but the underlying message, the message which made me Google "doulas," was about peaceful natural births by empowered women. How amazing does that sound?
"Regardless of what you decide about that, I really recommend investing in a doula. Husbands are great, but they make lousy labor coaches. Even if they are conscientious enough to study up on labor coping methods, when you are in labor you will respond FAR better to suggestions from someone who has actually been in your shoes (my husband can attest to this!). And don't expect labor support from the nursing staff - they are stretched far too thin among their patients. Maybe you will be in a different boat if you go with the nurse midwife, but even so it can be helpful to have someone come to your house and help you decide when it's time to leave for the hospital - the LAST thing you want to do is show up too early!"
Getting a doula...I was pretty motivated to find one until the big disagreement with DH. Maybe for another post...because it is a story of its own and caused another wise email from this same friend that is worth posting.
My friend closes her email:
"Sorry if this comes off preachy-I just wish someone had told me all this stuff before [my son] was born. I was so sure I knew what I was doing, and I
had been perfectly healthy the whole pregnancy. I am still blown away by how a perfectly healthy woman with a perfectly normal baby can show up at the hospital in labor and turn into a C-section. As I am sure you have heard, things went just a little bit differently with [my next one].
Okay, I'm off the soapbox now."
I didn't take it as preachy at all--I took it as a close friend being honest and open and doing her part in helping to educate her soon-to-give-birth-for-the-first-time friend. We could all benefit from a friend like this, huh?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
We Love Bath Time
My own mom giving me a bath circa 1974. Note dated "Desitin" baby wash. Also note that no unnecessary cash was spent on a specially-made tub that fits over a sink (although I really liked our first infant bathtub, because clearly I would have to scrub, disinfect, de-germ, etc. our kitchen sink in order to bathe Drew in it).
And little Drew a few months ago in his bath:
And Drew's new bathtub. Yes, embarrassingly I have spent more money on another bathtub. But if I had seen this one in the first place, maybe I wouldn't have gotten the first one...which I really did like. I think this is a new model, invented since my baby showers :) It is supposedly molded to be used one way from 0 - 6 months and then like Drew is using it now, it supposed to go to 24 months. I am skeptical that he will fit in it when he is two years old, but what do I know? I can only tell you about 0 - 11 months so far! I felt like he was outgrowing his other tub, and since we shower where Drew bathes, well I cannot bring myself to sit Drew where we put our dirty feet...I'm a bit of a germ freak--and also, who wants to scrub out the tub before every single baby bath? So this tub is big and deep and it was a nice upgrade.
Did I mention that I love these tub toys? This is one thing that I did purposely register for and I'm so glad I did! Love the frog on the wall, love that it holds all his bath shapes (because prior to the frog we had been carting other bath toys back and forth from his room to the tub every bath time). Also--love the shapes and colors and the fact that they stick to the wall.
And little Drew a few months ago in his bath:
And Drew's new bathtub. Yes, embarrassingly I have spent more money on another bathtub. But if I had seen this one in the first place, maybe I wouldn't have gotten the first one...which I really did like. I think this is a new model, invented since my baby showers :) It is supposedly molded to be used one way from 0 - 6 months and then like Drew is using it now, it supposed to go to 24 months. I am skeptical that he will fit in it when he is two years old, but what do I know? I can only tell you about 0 - 11 months so far! I felt like he was outgrowing his other tub, and since we shower where Drew bathes, well I cannot bring myself to sit Drew where we put our dirty feet...I'm a bit of a germ freak--and also, who wants to scrub out the tub before every single baby bath? So this tub is big and deep and it was a nice upgrade.
Did I mention that I love these tub toys? This is one thing that I did purposely register for and I'm so glad I did! Love the frog on the wall, love that it holds all his bath shapes (because prior to the frog we had been carting other bath toys back and forth from his room to the tub every bath time). Also--love the shapes and colors and the fact that they stick to the wall.
Green Cake Just In Time
I know there are a few avid cake-bakers out there. Pastry chefs in-the-making. I thought I should post this family recipe in time for the cake-bakers to get to the store before St. Patrick's Day. No, this is not an Irish cake recipe, rather a green cake. It would be appropriate to bake it in a shamrock-shaped pan, though.
Creme de Menthe Cake
1 package white cake mix (also egg whites & oil as cake mix instructions indicate)
1/3 c. green Creme de Menthe (for cake mix)
1 jar hot fudge ice cream topping (NOT chocolate syrup)
***Mrs. Richardson's brand is the best
***Hershey's and Smuckers are also thick enough
1 8 oz. container Cool Whip
3 Tbsp. Creme de Menthe (for Cool Whip)
Mix the cake according to the directions on the box, EXCEPT substitute 1/3 cup of Creme de Menthe for 1/3 cup of the water (usually recipe calls for something like 1 1/4 cups of liquid, so you will have the SAME amount of liquid, but 1/3 cup of it will be the Creme de Menthe, and the rest will be water). Pour into 9x13 pan (or that shamrock pan that you found and can only use once a year). Bake according to instructions on the box.
As soon as cake is removed from oven, spread the entire jar of hot fudge topping. Topping & cake need to be warm to make for easy spreading. Cool completely. When cake is cooled (maybe even chilled a little in the fridge), mix 2 - 3 Tbsp. of Creme de Menthe into the container of Cool Whip. You may want to add a few drops of green food coloring into Cool Whip for an even greener topping. Spread onto cake. Refrigerate until served. Enjoy!
Creme de Menthe Cake
1 package white cake mix (also egg whites & oil as cake mix instructions indicate)
1/3 c. green Creme de Menthe (for cake mix)
1 jar hot fudge ice cream topping (NOT chocolate syrup)
***Mrs. Richardson's brand is the best
***Hershey's and Smuckers are also thick enough
1 8 oz. container Cool Whip
3 Tbsp. Creme de Menthe (for Cool Whip)
Mix the cake according to the directions on the box, EXCEPT substitute 1/3 cup of Creme de Menthe for 1/3 cup of the water (usually recipe calls for something like 1 1/4 cups of liquid, so you will have the SAME amount of liquid, but 1/3 cup of it will be the Creme de Menthe, and the rest will be water). Pour into 9x13 pan (or that shamrock pan that you found and can only use once a year). Bake according to instructions on the box.
As soon as cake is removed from oven, spread the entire jar of hot fudge topping. Topping & cake need to be warm to make for easy spreading. Cool completely. When cake is cooled (maybe even chilled a little in the fridge), mix 2 - 3 Tbsp. of Creme de Menthe into the container of Cool Whip. You may want to add a few drops of green food coloring into Cool Whip for an even greener topping. Spread onto cake. Refrigerate until served. Enjoy!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Our Miracle
Found this quote on another blog and fell in love with it:
“The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.”-Pablo Casals
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