Parenting Right

First I was silent. I was holding my husband's hand to my right, and a stranger's hand to my left. Every one else around me was reciting the Lord's Prayer, but I had stopped mid-prayer, already tearing up and unable to continue. As soon as we were done, I whispered to my husband, "I have to get out of here...NOW." On the verge of full-blown crying, I was glad that my husband and son were the only ones I had to climb over to get out of the pew. I needed to remove myself from the situation that had been unfolding in the pew in front of us: a father treating his daughter (maybe around two years old) terribly...and for no good reason. I could NOT take it. Now, he wasn't hitting her physically, but in actuality, he was hitting her...with his words, with his body language, with his harsh grabbing at her to settle her. We had been sitting behind this couple and their two kids for the whole service up to that point. The little girl was QUIETLY occupying herself with a book, some flashcards, and a cuddly. Was she moving around? Yes...but isn't that what two-year-olds DO? Was she muttering some two-year-old babble to herself? YES. Was she content during an adult church service meant for adult ears? ABSOLUTELY. Was her father making more noise grabbing at her and angrily "SSSHHHHHH-ing" her than the little girl was herself? Uh, YES. Was anyone else remotely bothered by the little girl? NO. By the father? YES. It wasn't just me who looked shocked at this man's behavior, although I was the only one crying about it. The girl's mom had already taken their fussy baby out of the church and into the lobby, leaving dad and the daughter alone. It seemed that once the mother was gone, the dad grew more and more annoyed and exceedingly harsh by the second. As I am watching all of this unfold, literally two feet away from me, I first said to my husband, "I can't watch this." Probably afraid that I might actually say something to the man, my husband whispered back, "You need to get a hold of yourself." And then the man's behavior continued and the tears start welling up in my eyes...and finally I made my mad-dash for the lobby, where I began sobbing.

I wonder how this father has already damaged his little girl's emotional health and how much he will continue to damage her into the future. It is no damn wonder that we get some pretty messed up kids in our classrooms. And of course I recognize that there are kids who have way worse parents than this little girl--these parents were in church for God's sake. Some parents are doing drugs on Sunday mornings. But nevertheless, this man showed no sign of love or affection for his little toddler, and was not worried at all about what the general public was watching. Jeez, I wonder how much worse it is at home. I should have been tipped off when I tried to smile at him when he first got his young baby out of her carseat. He scowled at me, too. How dare I show a little admiration for the cuteness of his baby.

So...here is where I would probably upset many people (if there happened to be more than three people who read my blog): I do NOT believe that it is everyone's right to be a parent. And furthermore, I am extremely offended by the people who abuse their fertility by continuing to have children when they have no intention of putting forth the love, effort and sacrifice that it takes to raise children who are mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy.

There, I feel better now...for me at least, but not for the poor little girl from church.