Pumping Survival Kit

Even though we said goodbye a couple of years ago, Miss Medela made her way back into my life.

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Being a breastfeeding mom AND a full-time working mom was NOT how nature intended motherhood to work—it is not natural to be sitting hooked up to a noisy pump while your baby is rocking peacefully in someone else’s arms. Sorry Miss Medela—I just don’t bond with you quite like I bond with my child.

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Not only is it not natural, and not providing the nurturing connection between mother and child, it’s damn difficult. Every chance you get, you’re sitting by yourself with your pump. Forget eating lunch or taking a break with your colleagues. A working-nursing mom’s only lunch buddy is Miss Medela. And the relationship doesn’t end when you leave work. Every night you’re washing the pump parts out, making sure you have everything ready for the next day when you’ll be lunching again with your only work friend—the pump. Now, I do consider myself lucky because I work in a school where every two classrooms are connected by a back office. There is an extreme amount of privacy AND I can keep Miss Medela set up all of the time. I do not have to put it away or pack it up or carry it back and forth from home to work. And thank goodness, I do not have to pump in a bathroom, like others have had to do!

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For those of us who do not produce a whole lot of excess milk, pumping can be damn stressful. Before I went back to work, milk production was not a problem. I would sit in by nursing group and listen to the moms asking for advice on how to increase their milk production because they were “falling behind” now that they’ve returned to work. Been there. Done that. Happened to me with my first child. Probably going to be there again, I thought.

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Incidentally I have a friend who would literally pump an extra five ounces (like a WHOLE extra bottle) every morning. This is just not human. For me, I was elated if I had a surplus of just a few ounces a day. I was pretty diligent in building up my freezer supply before I had to return to work. And I was blessed that my maternity leave, coupled with the teacher-summer-off, made my little boy a whopping 7 months old when I returned to work full-time. Seven months of exclusive, uninterrupted, as-nature-intended breastfeeding.

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I do have a few things I’ve learned along the way that have made my relationship with Miss Medela go a little more smoothly.

The following is what I would call my pumping survival kit:
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1. A multitude of ways to make your pump do it's job: My pump had all of the following options available, and I bought them all. In fact, I wonder if Medela sells stock options...I should have purchased some!

A. AC adapter for car (great invention!)
B. AC cord battery pack (plus lots of extra batteries)
C. AC cord that came with it, PLUS an extra AC cord

2. Duplicates or even triplicates of pump parts.
At Baby Beloved, my breastfeeding-all-things-baby-and-motherhood store, I was able to purchase all of the extra parts (tubing, cups, valves, etc) for a very reasonable price. You can purchase some of the extra parts at Babies R Us, but they don't carry everything like Baby Beloved does. This cut down on having to wash items so often. I am up to EIGHT complete sets of horn-valve combos. This means that I can pump FOUR times before I have to wash a single part.

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3. Keep the pump at work, if possible.

When I went back to work after I had my first child, a friend who was done using her pump motor loaned me hers. With all of my extra parts, I was able to have a permanent pumping station set up both at home AND at work. How nice to simply bring bottles back and forth, rather than a big pump bag. How nice NOT to have to set up and take apart my pump every single day. This alone was worth every penny of every extra pump parts, and I'll bet the convenience of the two pump stations contributed to my sanity since I was having to pump both at home and at work after Drew decided to wean himself earlier than I had hoped.

Now that I am a mother of a second child, I am lucky enough to own two of my OWN pumps, because my health insurance foot the bill for a pump with EACH child. So I can keep one at work full-time and keep the other set up at home or bring with me on day trips or whatever.

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4. A microwave bottle sterilizer. I think the worst part of pumping is washing/sterilizing all the parts. Medela makes nice steam bags, but they don't hold that many parts. I keep a steam-bag with each pump all of the time, so no matter where I am, if there’s a microwave, I can sterilize. However, I purchased an Avent microwave bottle steamer, which is advertised to hold something like six bottles plus the nipples and tops. This steamer holds LOTS of pumping stuff and is done very quickly – 4 minutes. It makes my pumping life so much easier.

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5. Patience, flexibility, and an understanding that even though you cannot do it all, you are still an awesome mother. My first child began to wean himself at about six months, when I went back to work and he LOVED the easiness of bottles. The milk came so quickly, he didn’t have to work for it or wait for it. I kept on pumping at work AND at home. I pumped ‘round the clock. I almost pumped myself into the loony bin. Even with all of the pumping, I was still regularly dipping into my freezer supply which I had worked really hard to build up while I was on maternity leave. I was sad that Drew didn’t follow the plan of nursing when we were home together and only taking bottles at daycare. I was disappointed in myself because I had planned to exclusively nurse for a year, and I could see that it just wasn’t going to happen. I was mad that I didn’t produce mad amounts of milk (no pun intended), and therefore had to pump at home and at school and everywhere in between just to keep him exclusively on breast milk for as long as I did. Around 9 months, I had to start supplementing with formula.

This time around, I still built up the freezer supply, and nursed almost exclusively until I went back to work. In fact, this time around, I barely allowed Brayden to have a bottle unless absolutely necessary. I still planned to nurse until a year, but I was very aware that my plan was only my plan. Brayden was really the one controlling the plans. Having gotten teeth much earlier than Drew, Brayden went through a biting phase that made it next to impossible for me to feed him for a week or so, and I thought that was the end. But it wasn’t. And as school started, I was already dipping into my freezer supply to keep up with Brayden’s needs (even though I was pumping THREE times a day at work). I started experimenting with Similac Organic Formula in Brayden’s cereal to make sure his tummy would survive formula. Then I started letting him drink a couple of ounces of formula after he ate his cereal to see how he reacted to the taste. Things were going FANTASTIC until the Similac Formula recall. Why not add just a little more guilt to a working mother’s repertoire? But I’m trying not to let ANY of that get to me. Brayden still nurses once or twice a day. He gets a combination of fresh breast milk, frozen breast milk, and formula in his bottles throughout the week. He is happy and healthy, and I’m doing my best. That's about all a mother could ask for!

Sex and the City -- Still a Fan!

I'm a Sex and the City fan. I watched it on HBO when new episodes were still being aired, long before it was syndicated and showing on TBS every night. I cried when Carrie and Aiden broke up the first time, then I cried again when they broke up the second time. I own all of the seasons on DVD. Drew is not allowed to watch them--ever. But that's not the point of this post.

This past weekend, I decided to watch a season's worth of episodes. I chose Season Five for no particular reason and whenever Drew was napping or down for the night, I watched an episode or two until I was all done. Well, I have a new-found respect for the show's writers/producers because of how they portrayed breastfeeding. Many episodes in Season Five depict Miranda's trials and tribulations in her new role as a mother. In one episode, she is stressed out because Brady, her son, won't latch on. The writers very naturally and smoothly incorporated breastfeeding vocabulary into the conversation in a very real situation that many mothers experience. In another episode, Miranda takes a weekend trip to Atlantic City, and in the middle of the casino, she mentions that she's tired and it's time for her to pump. So very clever how the writers incorporated the idea that one can still be a working mother who is a successful New York attorney, take a weekend trip with her girlfriends, and still be committed to giving her child the best form of nourishment that exists. In yet another episode, the baby's father, Steve, asks Miranda if her nipples are sore. And the conversation again is natural, caring, and completely appropriate. And it fits seamlessly into the story line. I watched the whole Season Five and failed to see one bottle. I don't know if any of this was done purposefully or not, but kudos to the writers of one of my favorite shows. I love it even more now!

Breastfeeding Survival Kit

Recently I read another blogger’s ideal Breastfeeding Survival Kit. She asked at the end: What would be in your ideal breastfeeding kit? Although I am not breastfeeding anymore, I still have friends who breastfeed and friends who will (hopefully!) breastfeed soon, so I thought I would post my ideal Breastfeeding Survival Kit items here:

1. Breastfeeding books. The two most dear to my heart: So That's What They're For by Janet Tamaro and Breastfeeding With Comfort and Joy by Laura Keegan, R.N., F.N.P. I would recommend reading and re-reading many times over before baby is born. You’ll have much more time before baby arrives.

And honestly, you’ll read it over and over and you’ll hear it from lactation consultants: if the baby is latched-on properly, it shouldn’t be painful. So read and re-read the information about proper latch-on!

2. Water. I have read that water really does help milk supply and production, and I have also read that it doesn’t make a huge difference. I did feel like it made a difference for me—I felt like I had a better supply when I was most hydrated.

3. Lactation cookies and necessary ingredients on hand. What breastfeeding mother isn’t hungry AND who doesn’t love cookies? Cookies that help you lactate as well? Enough said. You can find the recipe here.

4. Phone numbers/emails of people who can help and support you:

Make sure you have at least one friend who values breastfeeding as much, if not more, than you do. She MUST be your go-to person when you are struggling. There are too many people out there who are willing to praise you for the good job you did as they support you through quitting. You need different peer pressure—you need a personal cheerleader to remind you why breastfeeding is so important and why you shouldn’t skip just one feeding or just one pumping session.

Know how to contact a lactation consultant. I was incredibly lucky to have local support through Baby Beloved, Inc – a breastfeeding supply boutique complete with lactation consultant services. Baby Beloved also hosts baby classes and a mommy support group. It isn’t affiliated with the hospital or La Leche League (whom I could have contacted if necessary).

5. Breast comfort aids: Lanolin ointment (only needed during the first couple of weeks…then it really DOES get better), ice packs for engorgement (my mom made some for me out of diapers moistened with water and then frozen--worked perfectly), leak-prevention pads, breastfeeding pillow (more on that in a second), comfortable chair, supportive husband to provide extra set of hands when learning how to position baby...

6. Breastfeeding cover/apron: I have two: one from Bebe Au Lait (that’s French for “baby with milk” – a take on the expression for how you ask for a coffee with milk in French: "cafe au lait.”) My mom purchased the Bebe Au Lait one for me online and then used it to make a pattern so she could make me another one handmade. Pretty nifty and thrifty.

7. Nursing tank-tops/camisoles: These are certainly a matter of preference. I got some less expensive tanks at Target which worked well, but my most favorite brand of all was Bravado. I loved the ballet-style top, thick material and feeling of firm support. When my milk was first coming in and I was engorged, these tanks made me feel MUCH better. You need to be fitted for the Bravado tanks like you would be fitted for a nursing bra. My least favorite: Glamourmom—felt too flimsy for the money I paid.

8. Breastfeeding support group: If there is a local support group that meets regularly, attend it! The place where I got my pump, bras, and tanks also hosts a weekly mommy support group. I felt a little uncomfortable when I first went there, but for no good reason. It was the most safe, understanding environment a new mom could ask for. In addition to being hosted by a certified lactation consultant, the mommy group was a great place to vent, cry, and laugh about motherhood, breastfeeding or post-pregnancy fat jeans.

9. The best breast pump insurance can buy…or register for one if you’re going to be having a baby shower. My OB wrote a prescription for a breast pump and our insurance covered the entire cost, so I got the Medela Pump-In-Style Advanced. It worked really great. You can always rent a pump, also. Babies R Us rents them as did my breastfeeding supply store (significantly cheaper than BRU).

Learn to pump! Even if you don't have to, you should. The whole pumping thing was very intimidating, even though I had been shown how easy it was when I purchased the pump. I was very scared, but this was another situation in which the fear was totally unfounded. The reason I learned was because in the first couple of weeks after Drew was born, I had one side that was so sore and painful, I could barely feed from that side without crying. I don't know why or how the one side was worse than the other, because it didn't seem to be a latch problem, but pumping helped me to heal the right side while feeding Drew only from the left. Once I was all healed up, we bf from both sides and life was good.

However, because I forced myself to learn to pump, I was able to continue pumping in order to build up a freezer supply. I became fascinated with how much I could produce, and I used some of the advice that I had read in Tamaro's book to figure out when I should pump (I always did it right after I nursed) and how to store the frozen milk. Some days I would pump after every single nursing and other days not at all. But it was so helpful to have the option.

10. Nursing pillows: I used the Boppy, which worked fine when Drew was the smallest, but there are some better pillows out there for when your baby gets bigger and bigger and bigger. We actually had two nursing pillows, which I thought was a total waste—before I actually gave birth. I had registered for and received the Boppy and then someone else gave me a Boppy-like nursing pillow also. I was all set to take it back when a friend told me she liked having a couple of nursing pillows. So I didn’t take it back and am I ever glad. First, everybody who came to visit us used the Boppy when holding Drew. My manly-man husband seemed very fascinated with the Boppy—he used it every time he held/rocked Drew and put it around the waist of every guest, male or female, who came to visit the baby. Which was fine and dandy, except germ-freak-me wanted what I perceived to be a sterile Boppy to feed Drew on. It was also nice to have a nursing pillow both in the living room and the bedroom—the two places I nursed the most. Furthermore, it was nice to have an extra nursing pillow to throw into the car.

Coming Soon: My ideal Pumping Survival Kit

Breastfeeding Laws

If you are curious which states best protect our right to breastfeed and which states are lagging behind, click here.

In Mourning

Well, the day has finally arrived. Whenever I decide to unfreeze it, the last bag of frozen breastmilk will be gone. I think I will wear black that day. And I should have a proper burial for my pump--I will put her away with pomp and circumstance. She will not be sharing a plastic bin with clothes that Drew has outgrown or toys that he no longer wants to play with. NO. She will have her own personal storage bin, and all of her bits and pieces will be stored away carefully in Ziploc bags. R.I.P. Miss Medela. Until we meet again. (Although, word on the maternity street is that insurance pays for a new pump with each pregnancy. WHA-HOO!)

I have some friends who will mourn with me, and who would probably even attend Miss Medela's burial, if I asked. I have other friends who would never consider breastfeeding and therefore wouldn't understand why I'm in mourning. And I have some friends who DID breastfeed, but did NOT have such a good experience. I try not to judge anyone's personal decisions/feelings about breastfeeding, but dang, it is difficult, given all of the current medical studies and APA recommendations.

Breastfeeding didn't exactly turn out as I had planned it. Despite the horror stories that I heard from most of my friends and/or colleagues who had breastfed, I was completely motivated, especially after having read So That's What They're For by Janet Tamaro. Plus, it was helpful that while I was pregnant, I visited a friend who breastfed her twins...at the same time... My goodness, I thought--if she could single-handedly provide nourishment for two babies, certainly I could provide for one. Because I had read so much, I also felt very empowered. The first six months were AMAZING and EASY and almost perfect. Getting started was a little frustrating, as in the hospital it seemed every nurse had her own "sure-fire" way to get Drew to latch on. But just like it was written in the many books/websites I read, eventually with lots of practice and patience both Drew and I caught on. Oh sure, I had to nurse (no pun intended) my right side back to health after a rough, very sore beginning. But other than that, breastfeeding worked for us. I can't think of anything so completely satisfying than to be the sole food source for your child. How amazing is it that by my body's design, Drew received the exact nourishment he needed?! And because he ate so frequently, he received the touch, love, and security he needed to foster his emotional health. So since it had worked so well during my maternity leave, my original plan was to breastfeed exclusively for a year, pumping while at work, but actually breastfeeding while at home. If only life worked out as we planned. Wouldn't that be easy?

During my maternity leave, I pumped frequently in addition to breastfeeding. I got my pump out initially to help heal the sore breast the first week I was home. I could pump from it, but not feed Drew from it. Then when I was able to nurse from both sides, I kept pumping here and there--usually right after Drew would feed. First of all, I was completely fascinated with how much I could produce. Second, I loved counting up the ounces in the freezer and figuring out how many days' supply I had in case some emergency arose. Thank goodness no emergencies came up, though, because I was able to build up a pretty respectable store in our freezer. And thank goodness, too, because once I started back to work, and Drew got bottles every single day, he became less and less interested in actually breastfeeding. How dare he! My letdown didn't come fast enough, nor was he very patient. So at 6 months, Drew had cut himself back to feeding only in the evening, and the wee hours of the morning (I was so thankful he still "needed" me in the middle of the night). And MAYBE (if I was lucky) he would nurse groggily before I went to work. Regardless, I had to not only pump at work, but pump at home in order to keep up with Drew's needs. And I was pretty much pumping my guts out, because I was rarely able to pump enough in one session to equal a feeding. I am still jealous of those over-producers out there!

Finally, after about two months of pumping at work and pumping at home, I thought I might go crazy. Not to mention trying to figure out how to work full-time and be a good mother. That is a whole different post! Anyway, as Thanksgiving neared, I caved. I started mixing formula with breastmilk, and I started reducing my pumping sessions little by little. OH THE GUILT. And not to MENTION the fact that just as I am beginning to give Drew some formula, the reports about traces of melamine in Nestle Good Start formula hit the news. OH DOUBLE GUILT. Let me just tell you, I can't wait until Drew can drink cow's milk, because I am completely embarrassed to buy formula. I would rather walk down a crowed street with two leaking breasts than to buy a container of formula in public. Shut up to those of you who think I'm being over-dramatic. (1) I like being a little dramatic (2) my kid's IQ will probably be higher than yours...just kidding...well, really I'm not and (3) I consider breastfeeding my child in my top FIVE greatest life accomplishments--especially in our culture which does so little to support breastfeeding moms!

Luckily, I have had a great support network of people to listen to and to help me through my trials and tribulations including my husband, my mom, some good friends who really do/did enjoy breastfeeding, and the lactation consultants in my breastfeeding group. So I've decided the next best thing I can do is to support other breastfeeding moms out there. And I'll be there for them when they're in mourning.