*sigh* My infant has turned into a baby, and toddler is right around the corner.
Brayden has been a joy getting to know. We were lucky to spend many, many quality days and weeks together, as I only returned to work part-time for a few weeks before summer break gave us three more solid months together. Since February 7th, Brayden and I have been virtually inseparable.
From day one, Brayden has been a hold-me baby. He loves nothing more than to be in someone's arms. Although it can get annoying if I am trying to accomplish something around the house, and it is taking four times as long because I'm doing it with a baby in one arm, I still realize the beauty of having a little one in my arms, and know that sadly, there will come a day when he wants to be running around like a madman rather than cuddling with Mommy.
I am so excited that Brayden has nursed exclusively for the past six months. When I look back on what an accomplishment that is, especially in our culture, I am very proud of myself. Not many mamas out there in our country are willing to sacrifice their freedom to be their child's one-and-only food source. I hear a multitude of excuses for why some of my friends or family members haven't tried nursing or who tried it and quit. I don't judge them--we must all do what is best for ourselves, I guess. I mostly feel sad for the baby and mom who don't get to nurse. Sad to know that a baby missed out on the best possible nutrition and bonding because his/her mom didn't "feel like it." Sad for the mom who thought it took too long, instead of enjoying every single rare moment of getting to hold a nursing baby close to her heart. There have certainly been times of self-doubt and frustration for me. Is Brayden fussing because he's still hungry? Why does he need to change sides so often? Why is my letdown so slow? When can I have a whole day to myself again to go shopping? When will I get a full night of sleep? Because I educated myself through books and breastfeeding group, I know that fussiness usually does NOT have to do with milk supply--unless Brayden is going through a growth spurt. Then the constant need for nursing is only Brayden's body telling my body to make more milk. Oh yeah. I can do this. When can I have a whole day to myself? Someday. But someday can wait because holding this precious baby who stops nursing for a second to smile at me and grab at my hair is so much more satisfying than getting a day to myself. I'll have plenty of those when he's old enough to go fishing with Daddy. When will I have a full night of sleep? Well, we're already down to one feeding in the middle of the night. Brayden is way ahead of the curve that Drew was on. We're sleeping well. And if I have to get up in the middle of the night to hold my baby close, I usually feel blessed.
Brayden is known for being a pretty sweet baby. He hasn't been too much of a cry-for-no-reason baby. Just recently, because he's been teething, have I noticed extra fussiness.
This summer has been especially hot and humid, considering we live in Michigan. Following last summer when there were only TWO days the ENTIRE summer above 90 degrees, I have felt as if it has been exceptionally hot, but the news people say it's been somewhat average. Brayden and I have not spent too much time outdoors because of the heat and humidity. He did go swimming during 4th of July weekend in Aunt Beth's pool, and just recently in my friend Amy's mom's pool. He seems to enjoy the water. He most certainly enjoys bathtime and the much cooler temperature of the pools didn't phase him at all.
So as the summer draws to a close and going back to work is on the horizon, I am feeling particularly melancholy.
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