The Second Time Around

So we are a few months away from bringing another member of our family into this world. Pregnancy has treated me well so far (knock on wood), with the exception of feeling much bigger the second time around--and from the get-go. Positive pregnancy stick = immediate baby bump. I told a friend of mine recently that I didn't think it was emotionally healthy for me to check myself out in the mirror too hard--most especially the rear view, after a shower, for example. YIKES. As I was lamenting the other day, a colleague reminded me that it would be a problem if I were NOT getting bigger. Always nice to put everything in perspective. That's right. It's not all about me. It's about the peanut--who seems to be growing juuuuuust fine.

I have been fortunate to be able to wear the exact same maternity clothes as last time because (1) it's the same season of pregnancy give or take a month and (2) the clothes are still in style because pregnancy #1 was in 07-08. This has certainly helped the family budget. Plus I wasn't nearly as excited about panel-pants this time around as I was last. Actually I'm not really into panel pants at all--there are very cool pregnancy "belly bands" that allow one to stay in her pre-pregnancy pants for quite awhile because the "bands" cover the unzipped zipper and hold everything in place. Fantastic invention...especially the ones with the cute lace at the bottom to make it seem as if you're wearing a lace cami under your shirt.

While the pregnancy itself seems about the same, I most certainly am NOT the same. Much more laid back, I am enjoying just. being. pregnant. I really like to park in "Expectant Mother Parking." And guess what? Second time around = less guilt using those parking spaces because you show sooner. During my first pregnancy I kept my nose in books such as "What To Expect..." yadda yadda yadda. Embroyo. Got it. Fetus. Got it. Statements like "I will TRY to breastfeed and see how it goes." Try to breastfeed? How silly and naive that sounds now, knowing all that I know. I will breastfeed and we will be successful. This time around I am less concerned with figuring out which day each little cell is being formed and what color to make the nursery. All of that was very fun, exciting, and new. But this time I am more concerned about who this in my tummy, what he/she might be like as a person, what our first moments together will be like, whether or not I'll forget what it feels like to have a human moving around in my body. And maybe, a toddler running around is a little distracting, too. But because this could be my last pregnancy (I'm no spring chicken), I am really trying to enjoy the blessing and miracle that it is and remain calm and focused on the task at hand...grow the peanut safely and for as long as possible. My water broke 2 1/2 weeks before my due date with my first child. We'll see what happens the second time around.

Speaking of the peanut, we decided not to find out the gender. The first time around, in the flurry of nursery decorating and registering for scads of gifts we didn't need, it wasn't even a question. We found out. This time around, we're saving it for just us, in the delivery room--the kind of hold-your-breath excitement that we don't often get to experience in this impatient tell-me-yesterday kind of world we live in. Instant gratification--not the second time around. How about in 40-ish weeks?

Oh and speaking of NOT finding out...this creates all KINDS of responses. A lot of dads offer a high-five "way-to-go" sort of response. Most women don't seem to understand. How can you not find out? Don't you want to know? I couldn't do that. It's actually kind of fun to annoy people in this way. And because I teach high school, the students are very curious about what the name choices might be, when the baby is due and...why are we not finding out!?! Because our home is up for sale, I'm not itching to decorate a new nursery. And even if our home were not up for sale (not sold yet...sigh), I think I would still feel the same way. Like I told another with-child friend of mine, when the baby is born, all he/she needs is me. And of course, daddy--but uh...daddy doesn't provide the meals. And as I recall, not a whole lot of sleeping is done outside of someone's arms the first few weeks, and check! Got those.

A second pregnancy is a great example of the opposite of "If I knew then what I know now..." I actually feel like I get to put some amazing experience and knowledge in to practice. I often say to myself, or husband, or friend "This time I will..." or "This time we should consider..." Like I would prefer our hospital room to not be grand central station. While some people might find this offensive or selfish, I recognize the miracle of the precious, amazing minutes and hours post birth that I would like to be just ours--my husband's and mine--not to mention February germs and a mother's need to recover and rest and the baby's need to learn how to nurse. This time I would like to wear my baby more. I was intimidated and a little frightened of my Peanut Shell sling with Drew, and yet it was one of the most useful parts of early motherhood when I finally learned how to use it. I need to purchase a Mobi Wrap (one of very few "products" I would like to splurge on) because it can be used with such young infants. Already used the Ergo with the first--it's ready and waiting to be strapped on again....see how easy this is the second time around? Actually? Just kidding. Will there be surprises and challenges? Every day, I'm sure. Will bonding with a second child while nurturing #1 be difficult? Absolutely. Will there be tears? Many and probably often (damn post-pregnancy hormones).

Yet...I'm so excited...about the second time around.

Scalloped Harvest Potatoes

Yum, yum, and more yum. So Thanksgiving is coming up. I love mashed potatoes and gravy, but if you want to switch things up a bit, Turkey Day would be a great day to debut this recipe. Or a cold, rainy Saturday afternoon. Or your mom is in town. Or a snow day. Or...

So this is yet another recipe that shouldn't be in your weekly repetoire simply because of the calorie and rich-ingredient content. And this is NOT the recipe to try to make lower-fat due to a necessary texture that can't be replicated with low-fat dairy products.

The OTHER important detail I must touch on is Penzey's Spices. I happen to be lucky enough to live within a 15 minute drive from a store. You can certainly buy their spices online, but it's so convenient to be able to run out and grab a little jar of their deliciousness. Sure, you can substitute, and I'm sure your recipe will turn out delicious, but I'm convinced that for THIS recipe, Penzey's is the way to go, at least in terms of the Chicken Soup Base--probably my most favorite Penzey's product.

Alright, enough of Penzey's...on to the recipe!

Scalloped Harvest Potatoes

2 lbs baking potatoes (russet)
2 c half & half
2 c heavy cream
1 tablespoon Penzey's Chicken Soup Base*
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1/8 tsp rubbed sage**
1 8 oz. package Parmegiano-Reggiano cheese, grated
Salt and pepper to taste

*If you cannot get your hands on this Penzey's product, substitute one or two cubes of chicken boullion.

**I add a pretty big "pinch" -- none of this 1/8 tsp. stuff. I like to taste the ingredients :)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 9 x 13 baking dish with butter or spray. In large pot, heat half & half, heavy cream, Chicken Soup Base, garlic powder, onion powder, and sage over medium heat. Warm until the soup base is completely dissolved, whisk as necessary. Cut potatoes into slices. Layer 1/3 potatoes in bottom of pan. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese, salt and pepper. Repeat for a second layer. Repeat for a third layer. Pour cream mixture over potatoes. Dot with butter for extra goodness (and calories). Bake for 60 minutes or until potatoes can easily be pierced with a fork and a brown crust begins to form around the edges and on top. Serves 8-10. (Or serves 4 with lots and lots of fabulous leftovers!)

Homemade Alfredo Sauce

A long, long, long time ago (someone just mentioned "15 years ago" on my Facebook page) I found a homemade alfredo recipe in our local newspaper...my hometown Jacksonville Journal Courier. Every Wednesday the JJC had a food/recipe section that I couldn't wait to get my hands on. This Alfredo Sauce recipe has stood the test of time.

Now, the original recipe called for heavy cream, full-fat cream cheese, and 6-8 cloves of garlic. I know, I know...serious garlic. I have since refined the recipe to be a little more to my liking and a little (very little) more heart-healthy. This is not the type of sauce one would want to serve weekly, or maybe not even monthly. But, moderation...blah blah blah. Sometimes it's so good to be bad.

Here's how to be bad:

Homemade Alfredo Sauce

2 cups half-n-half
1 8 oz. block of 1/3 less fat cream cheese
1/2 cup to 1 cup (or more) grated parmesan cheese
1/2 to 1 teaspoon garlic powder
Salt to taste

Instructions:

In a heavy saucepan, add the half-n-half and begin to heat over medium. Add one half (4 ounces) of the cream cheese. Stir frequently with a whisk to melt the cream cheese. Add parmesan cheese and garlic powder. Continue to heat until cheeses are melted, and sauce is smooth.

Again, I pretty much made up the above measurements, because I like to experiment until I'm satisfied. So taste, stir, add more (in SMALL increments) of any of the above ingredients. More half-n-half will result in thinner sauce. More cream cheese...thicker sauce.

Note: you can use fresh garlic, but even when I put it through a garlic press, it still leaves little pieces in the sauce for a texture I'm not fond of.

As always, this is a sauce that is open to MANY variations:

• Sometimes I add some basil pesto for a pretty green Pesto-Alfredo sauce. You can buy pre-made, delicious pesto in almost any grocery store. I like the "Classico" brand. Add a couple of tablespoons to start, then taste and add more if necessary.

• "Classico" also makes a Roasted Tomato pesto, for a rose-colored tomato-y tasting alfredo sauce.

• Finally, one of my FAVORITE variations: Roasted Red Pepper alfredo. Add a few roasted red peppers (again, you can buy this product in jar at the grocery store) and use a hand-blender to mix into the alfredo sauce. LOVELY over cheese ravioli.

Finally, feel free to use the full-fat versions mentioned above, but don't hold me responsible for your cholesterol levels. I just made the recipe last night with heavy cream instead of half-n-half, because I was trying to use up cream before it expired. My husband RAVED about last night's Alfredo Sauce a little more than usual.

White Chicken Chili

With the crisp autumn weather in full effect, there is no better time to have something warm and filling to feast on. The following recipe is such an easy one-pot, low-prep, low-stress meal.

White Chicken Chili

1 rotisserie chicken, meat pulled off bones and coarsely chopped
1 block (at least 8 oz) jalapeno-jack cheese, grated
1 or 2 jars Northern beans (white beans)
1 or 2 jars salsa (mild, medium, or hot)
Salt to taste

Optional: half-n-half, tortilla chips, sour cream, cilantro

There you have the basics. Now, I apologize for the lack of exact measurements. That's not the type of cook I am unless I am baking, where I respect every detail of a recipe. The measurements also depend on your palate and the quantity of WCC that you wish to cook. I'm not a big bean person, so I prefer fewer beans and more chicken. I also like a creamier chili, so I tend to add more cheese and half-n-half. Hot salsa adds a really nice element of flavor to this recipe. There is not much "bite" left once everything is added in. Luckily, you can't really mess this up (unless you BURN it). Take it slow the first time. Make notes. The payoff will be worth it.

INSTRUCTIONS: In a large stock pot, add 1 jar of Northern Beans (beans AND liquid) and chopped chicken. Begin to heat over medium. Add 1 jar of salsa, and at least 8 oz. cheese. Allow cheese to melt, stirring frequently and adjusting heat as necessary. Study the consistency and try a taste. Add more cheese or some half-n-half if you prefer a creamier chili. Make sure to add the half-n-half gradually. You can always add more, but can't remove it! Continue to taste, stir, and add as needed. Shouldn't take long and you'll have a fresh pot of chili on the stove.

Eat as is, or top with sour cream and/or cilantro. If you have no clean spoons, use tortilla chips to feed yourself :)

Buddies

Buddies
(written by my father)

Morning
I awaken to the sound of
a friendly voice
not so far away
soon followed
by the National Anthem
nice beginning but
must do
those morning things
shaving
washing hair
that are always at least
mildly aggravating
but oh so necessary
if I am to face the day
with confidence
Yes quickly!
I hear little
footsteps
and a little voice
says
Daddy I can't sleep anymore
Buddies!
downstairs
we find
breakfast
nothing fancy
cereal
toast
perhaps a glass of
juice
or if it's Sunday
we might be the earliest
to arrive
at Hojo's
then a walk
in the new sunlight
a deep drink of
fresh air
the sweet song of
a cardinal
perched high
in a nearby tree
she goes her way
and I go mine
but only for awhile
soon we'll be together
again
it's great to be
Buddies

That is a poem that my father wrote about us oh-so-many years ago. I don't think I had my own copy until I was 19 years old, studying abroad in Mexico my sophomore year in college. My dad periodically sent me care packages of newspaper clippings from the States, letters about the goings-on in his day-to-day life, and some copies of poems he had written over the years--all reading material he thought I'd find interesting and a remedy to any homesickness I may have been feeling.

In any case, it has been years since I read the poem, but because my husband and I have our house up for sale, we have been cleaning and organizing like mad. And I came across this poem. And I cried when I read it. Then I cried as I was typing it into this blog. But the tears have nothing to do with the fact that my father and I are no longer "buddies." Unfortunately, he suffers from mental illness which makes it impossible for us to communicate in any "normal" sort of way or to have any resemblance of a normal father-daughter relationship. But that is life. People get sick, sad things happen. The sadness and frustration from the situation has numbed over the years. I hold on to many fond memories that I am lucky to have. ANYWAY...Nope. That's not why I'm so weepy. And it's not because I'm pregnant again and my hormones are raging all over the place, either.

I'm weepy out of sheer joy. Because when I read that poem I think of my husband and our son. They are buddies. And it is so dang heartwarming. In the morning when Mike has to do his "mildly aggravating" routine, there Drew is peeping into the shower, hoping to get a little laugh and a splash from Daddy. Or a little "pssht" of deodorant. Or a dollop of shaving cream on the nose that results in a joyous giggle. There they are...MY buddies.

"Me" Time

My husband and I recently took our first overnight trip together post-baby. At 16 months old, our baby isn't so much a baby anymore, though. I knew it would be emotionally difficult for me, because, again, this was the first time that both Mommy and Daddy would be gone ALL NIGHT. Luckily, my own mother drove 7+ hours from Illinois just to give us the gift of a night away. It made it much easier for me knowing that Drew was in his own house sleeping in his own bed with all of his own things in their regular spots. Some people might be thinking--wow, 16 months and you haven't left your child for even one night yet--that's a little extreme. Others might be thinking--wow, 16 months--I could never leave my child that young. My own mom didn't leave me even one time overnight until she was in the hospital giving birth to my sister...almost five years to the day that I had been born. So we all have our own ways of doing things and like I tell other friends expecting for the first time: you have to do what feels right to you. Lots of people are ready to offer their advice--sometimes you'll shake your head in acknowledgment knowing that their "expertise" will never come in handy for you. Sometimes you'll want to take out a pad of paper and a pencil because everything that the person is saying feels like just what you need. But I digress...

So off to Chicago my husband and I went--on the train. Ridin' the rails. How lovely it was that neither of us had the stress of driving, especially in Chicago traffic. Nor did we have to pay for parking at our hotel, which usually involves either expensive valet service at the rate of $50 per day--or a parking garage several blocks away which still runs $25 or more. Not to mention navigating a city that neither of us knows well. And once there, you don't need a car anyway. I had ridden the train to Chicago before, but I had forgotten how very easy and relaxing it is. There is SO MUCH room. Even my 6'4" husband had plenty of room to stretch out. Also, there is quite a lack of "red tape" to go through to get on the train--no security checks, long lines, etc. Your luggage is either with you or a few feet away. It's almost scary to think of how loose on security it is, so I try not to think about it. I don't know how long that will go on, but it's nice while it lasts. As we waited for the train to arrive and heard its whistle signaling its near proximity, I fantasized that it was 100 years earlier and I was wearing a petticoat and Mike was wearing a suit and hat. I refrained from snapping any pictures as the train arrived lest I really look like a tourist.

We stayed downtown on Michigan Avenue within a few blocks of where the Magnificent Mile shopping began in one direction and a few blocks from Millenium Park in the other direction. We arrived with no set plans about what activities we would do so we window-shopped on the first day, went out to a nice Italian dinner in the evening, and marveled at the art in Millenium Park in the evening. It is a very strange feeling to be able to come and go as you please with no worries about a little one. I had to restrain myself from calling home too much, but it wasn't difficult because each time I did call Drew was doing wonderfully, and Grandma sounded like she was having fun, so I relaxed more and more. On our second day, we visited the Museum of Science and Industry in the morning and Shedd's Aquarium in the afternoon. I've had enough musuems for a while.

During our trip we marveled at the skyscrapers, noting how urban Grand Rapids' skyline had appeared until we came to Chicago. I'm sure it was easy to pick us out as tourists given that we walked with our eyes to the sky for the majority of the trip. I love to get away to urban areas, to get myself a little culture, but I am always thankful that the hustle-and-bustle, bus fumes, and stopped traffic are not my way of life. I was also fascinated that Mike mentioned on several occasions how fun whatever we were doing at the time (riding train, staying in swanky hotel, eating in fine restaurant, exploring museum) would be for our kids when they are a little older. It's a given that Mike will introduce our children to nature, fishing, camping, hunting, etc. as early as he possibly can, so I'm so glad that my outdoorsman husband is excited to expose our kids to the city someday. How awesome that he realizes the importance of teaching that there are more ways to live than what we find in West Michigan.

By the time we got on the train in the evening of our second day, I thought my feet were going to fall off. It has been a long time since I've stood for such extended periods of time and walked so far in two days. But luckily, it was time to stretch out and enjoy the scenery for our trip home. By the time we arrived, Drew had been fast asleep for a few hours. Being in his presence, I felt complete. I think back to pre-pregnancy and the travel I used to do. Traveling abroad with students, a "girls weekend" here and there, a summer roadtrip with my husband, and my annual spring break cruises with my mom--these were all things that used to be major priorities. I used to say--oh, I'll never give up "me" time. I'm not going to be one of "those" mothers. Of course I'll still go on spring break. Drew can stay with Grandma for a week. Oops. I was wrong. My "me" time now consists of grocery shopping, going to the gym, or when I really spoil myself: dinner out with a girlfriend. Maybe not as glamorous, but there will be time for more exciting travels someday. Of course I miss those experiences, but oh how I would miss my time with my son so much more.

Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake

Oh the joys of fresh summer fruit. Even better if you hand-pick it yourself. So I was particularly fascinated to fall upon this recipe in the Food Network Magazine. My mom and I are always searching for the perfect "shortcake" to accompany summer strawberries, and this is the first chocolate shortcake recipe I have come across.

Before I tried the recipe, I wanted to purchase the cocoa from Penzey's (my favorite spice store). I also used their vanilla extract, which I already had on hand. I chose Ghiradelli's Luxe chocolate bar for the 3 oz. of chopped milk chocolate--it handily came packaged in a 3 oz. size.

In the initial trial of the recipe, I skipped #3 and #4, and opted to simply slice up some fresh strawberries and whip the remainder of the heavy cream into homemade whipping cream (added a little vanilla and powdered sugar to taste). However, I think those steps sound delightful and will try them when I make the shortcakes again. Having just picked fresh raspberries, I was thinking that these shortcakes might also be delicious substituting the raspberries for the strawberries. For dark chocolate lovers, why not substitute dark chocolate for the milk chocolate? Then I searched the internet for chocolate whipped cream and found easy recipes for that as well as liquer-flavored whipped cream (like Chambord--oh how exquisite!).

The shortcakes tasted very chocolately--but not too sweet. They were in a word: perfect. I loved the biscuity-cakey texture. I would make them just to eat plain--or maybe topped with vanilla ice cream or a raspberry sorbet, should fresh fruit not be available (like in the winter). BUT, if you have the time, try them out while there is still fresh fruit!

Chocolate Strawberry Shortcakes
June/July 2009 Food Network Magazine

Shortcakes:
1 cup AP flour, plus more for dusting
1/3 cup granulated sugar
2 T. dutch-process cocoa powder
3/4 t. baking powder
1/4 t. salt
4 T. cold, unsalted butter, cut into pieces
3 oz. milk chocolate, roughly chopped
2 large eggs
1/4 c. heavy cream
1 t. vanilla extract
Raw sugar for sprinkling

Toppings:
1 quart strawberries, hulled and sliced
1/4 c. granulated sugar
1 cup heavy cream

1. Position a rack in the middle of the oven; preheat to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Make the shortcakes: whisk the flour, granulated sugar, cocoa, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. Using your fingers, rub the butter into the flour mixture until sandy. Add the chocolate. Whisk 1 egg, the cream and vanilla in a glass measuring cup; stir into the flour mixture with a fork to make a shaggy dough (there will be some dry bits). Turn out onto a lightly floured surface; pat flat until 1 1/2 inches thick. cut into 6 rounds with a knife or cookie cutter, using the scraps for the last cake.

2. Place the rounds on the baking sheet; freeze for 20 minutes. Beat the remaining egg; brush onto cakes and sprinkle with raw sugar. Bake until firm, about 20 minutes. Transfer to rack to cool.

3. Meanwhile, make the toppings: Toss half of the strawberries with half of the sugar in a bowl; set aside. Place the other half of each in a saucepan; cook over medium-low heat, mashing with a fork to make a thick puree, about 10 minutes. Cool completely. Whip the cream with a mixer until medium peaks form; swirl in the strawberry puree.

4. Split the shortcakes in half. Layer some of the strawberry cream and reserved fruit on the bottoms; cover with the shortcake tops. Finish with more berries and cream.